


we're so subliminal, it's almost criminal

by marmusical



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/F, Swearing, You Have Been Warned, heavily based off that one song by joe iconis that isn't in the musical, it's called 'i was a teenage delinquent!', it's good, mentions of heavy stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:43:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marmusical/pseuds/marmusical
Summary: Brooke Lohst fell in love in juvy hall.Brooke Lohst saw her across the Middborough Teenage Correctional Facility & School left hallway. The new girl, Chloe Valentine. The flickering florescent lights above illuminated her terrifying beauty, with her brown hair with a slight glimmer-that might've been from the knife hidden in it, but that only made her hotter-and those piecing eyes that could steal her soul and she'd let them. She walked right past Brooke, only saying a quick 'Hey' but that was honestly all she needed to fall in love.God help her.





	1. making love with florescent lights above

I fell in love in juvy hall. 

It wasn't like I woke up that morning in my 'room' (yeah right, it was actually more of a holding cell) and thought 'Brooke, let's fall in love today'. No, I woke up like every other normal day. Being not as violent as I was almost two years ago, I was granted more of a room (more space, basically) a fluffier pillow, a blanket, air conditioning, and (this was the best part!) _makeup._

__Makeup is my absolute savior. It made me feel better, as materialistic and self-centered it sounded. I used to have 'episodes' as the doctor called it, or as I called it, 'freakouts' where emotions would just pile up sometimes and I would break and cry and scream, but with enough time (and therapy for months straight) I was able to simmer it down to one freakout per month. Sometimes not even that. So I look in my mirror and do the works, the mascara and the foundation, making sure my looks were perfect before putting on the yellow uniform._ _

__I made her way out into the hallway, where I saw Christine Canigula and Jenna Rolan, my two friends. "Brooke! Did you sleep well?" Christine asked. I smiled in response. "Totally! I actually went to sleep on Lights Out." Jenna smiled at me. "That's good! Hey, did you hear about the new girl?" That's Jenna Rolan. She was friends with all the guards for once reason and one reason only: gossip. And she got it, and spread it like the plague. "No? What's up?" I asked, genuinely interested. Jenna immediately got the gleam in her eyes she got when spreading information. "Okay, okay so, there's this new girl. Nw name is Chloe Valentine. Guess what she did to get in here!" Me and Christine shared a look, and then shrugged. "She crashed Denny's with her car!" We both gasped. "No. Way." I said, and Jenna nodded proudly. "Yeah, heard it straight from Officer Carlos. And she's got all the good info." Jenna laid back against the wall. "And I also got the word that she's in our hallway."_ _

__New girl in our hallway? Great. Another addition to Hallway S. At least we have another addition to our team when we get to do those Food Fights in the Good Cafeteria. We'll totally crush Hallway M. (and for that matter, cream Madeline in her stupid fake Canadian face.) Jenna leaned in dramatically. "Officer Carlos said she's dangerous." We all looked at each other. Christine spoke up. "How dangerous?" She asked. Jenna smiled and shrugged. "Information I'm withholding. You'll find out anyways, she'll come in sometime later this morning."_ _

__The subject dropped. Somehow time had passed and we were on the subject of Christine's latest musical obsession (something called Dear Evan Hansen) when I saw her. The most perfect human being. Everyone and everything seemed to stop to watch her being escorted down the hallway. People moved out of the way. I caught a good glimpse of her. The sometimes flickering fluorescent lights above illuminated her beauty. Perfectly winged eyeliner and long, shimmery brown hair falling to her chest in curled waves. Her manicured, blue nail-polished hands are in handcuffs. Her eyes could steal my soul and I would let them. Oh my god, I would let them. I'm entirely enraptured by her terrifying, horrifying, heart-stopping, bombshell looks. Then I see the show seller: the gleam of a knife hidden in her hair. I'm sold, drunk in love, call it whatever. She looks at me, once, and my heart stops. "Hey." her voice said, a little bit high and had a sort of commanding, I'm-in-control-vibe to it._ _

__I fell in love in juvy hall._ _


	2. ooohhh baby set my life on fire

Crashing my parent's new car was not the ideal way to get back at them for leaving me alone for a week, but it certainly worked. 

Now I was in handcuffs, walking through the Middlesborough Correctional Facility. When I to up this morning in my holding cell, I asked for makeup and made sure I looked beautifully threatening, and then let them take me away. They opened the door to the facility, putting in some shitty keycard I could swipe if I wanted. "Alright, Ms. Valentine. The judge sentenced you two years here, so you better get cozy." The woman speaking was a nice black woman officer who's tag read OFFICER CARLOS, who's voice was warm and inviting but I knew she was threatening me in some way. But I respected her enough to mumble a "Sure" and kept walking. She came up to this front desk, where another woman was at. Blond hair and blue eyes. "Here's Ms. Valentine, Officer Parker." I felt like I was being shown off. Like a cage animal. I lost all respect I previously had for Officer Carlos. So I shoved her a little. Not too much, but enough to tell her _F you, I crashed a car into a Denny's and I can crash you into the wall over there._

__But it looks like she didn't even notice._ _

__"Ms. Valentine. Guilty of arson, hit and run, and two counts vehicular homicide. We've got the place for you. Hallway S, Carlos." The desk lay said, with a sneer. Screw her! It took fake crying in a stupid jury room to not be placed in actual jail! It took faking being sad that the parents that never cared about me are dead! I could smash her face into that ancient computer and not feel anything. But instead I get a shove and I'm being escorted down another hallway. I notice one thing about this place I don't like: all hallways are the same. Same number of rooms. Same number of windows. Same paint color. For the heck of it, I count the floor tiles to make sure they're the same. (They are.) "Hallway S? Dang, girl. That's one of those hallways for the ones who did _real bad."__ _

____Did she not hear the receptionist?_ _ _ _

____"Yeah? Like what?" I challenged. I bet those kids just threw a knife at the wall and sobbed. "Hmm, well, let's see.." Psh. I'm probably placed with a bunch of little shits. "Rich Goranski did a count of arson to Jake Dillinger's house, and also was in possession of drugs and being a dealer. Jake Dillinger is charged with attempted murder. Christine Canigula..If I remember correctly, she planted a bomb in the rival theatre. Killed three actors. Jenna Roland hacked into government files and was in possession of sensitive information. Yep, she's in here for a long time. Jeremy Here and Michael Mell robbed a 7/11 and a Spencer's Gifts. Not money, but..everything else." I had to admit, these kids were fucking impressive. Definitely with a good crowd. We turned down another hallway. "And how could I forget Brooke Lohst? Poor girl almost killed herself, but even worse, she killed her boss at Pinkberry."_ _ _ _

____Pinkberry? I already liked Brooke._ _ _ _

____"Here we are." Officer Carlos announced, and pushed open the doors to Hallway S. Everyone in there looked at me. All seven of them. Some officers too. I felt like queen, people staring at me like that. Soon I would be, anyways. One piece of advice my Mom gave me that was actually useful? "Power is key. When you have power, you have everything." So that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna run this pathetic building, and this pathetic hallway._ _ _ _

____I passed these three girls, one of them staring at me like I was the Queen of England. She had the right idea. Her hair was a nice blonde, her makeup on point, and she made the orange prison outfit work for her. Even though I kinda made it work better, she had effort. So I gave her a quick smile. "Hey." I said. I passed them before seeing her reaction, and was un-handcuffed at my door._ _ _ _

____"Welcome to Middlesborough Correctional Facility. Enjoy your stay here, Ms. Valentine."_ _ _ _


	3. the way she looked at me

Chloe Valentine is the hottest girl I've ever seen. 

"Chloe Valentine is the hottest girl I've ever seen." I told Jenna and Christine after Chloe had entered her room. Jenna smiled deviously. "Oooohhh, someone got a crush on the new girl?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I playfully shoved her in response. "No! I can admire a girl's beauty without falling in love, okay?" Jenna rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm still adding it to the crush book. Crush #23: Chloe Valentine." I shoved her again. 

You see, I'm a person who falls in love easily. In Hallway S, it's what I'm famous for. So, Jenna and Christine have kept track of every crush I've had since coming to the facility. Crush Book had exactly 22 people in two years. And as much as I didn't like saying it out loud, number 23 just walked into my life. But Christine and Jenna already knew, so my pride didn't really matter. Christine giggled. "I don't think it's a one way street. She was _totally_ checking you out as she passed!" Christine. Despite being aro/ace, she _loved_ love. While I was known for falling in love, she was known for matching it. 

Christine's projects include: some guards, Rich Goranski and Jake Dillinger last month, and Michael Mell and Jeremy Heere last week. And every single crush I've had, she's tried to bring together. Now this was her new project. "I'm calling it...'The Lohstine Project'. Has a nice ring, right?" Another talent of Christine: mashing up words to create new ones. (Meremy Hell, 'pucking', for some reason she mashed together 'duck' and 'face' so whenever she takes a picture it's 'dace'.) 

I rolled my eyes. "I'm _not_ gonna be a new project." Jenna smiled deviously. "Word has it she has Anger Therapy, same time as us." 

I had to admit, that got my attention. Anger Therapy wasn't all that bad, but having a cute new face there made it something to look forward to. Plus, I've got _major_ flirting skills I need to exercise. "Really? This is honest, true information?" I asked. Christine squealed. "Yep. 100% truthful, came straight from the Receptionist. I was withholding the information because I needed to see if you were interested. Because I knew you would be. And you are!" Jenna said. Christine jumped up and down, flapping her hands excitedly. "This is amazing! It's meant to be! You two are gonna get married and I'll be the maid of honor, and you two will have really nice kids named Rebecca and Jerry and get a house at the end of a cul-de-sac, and then go to a nursing home together where you can spend the rest of your days in old-woman married bliss, and die holding hands and get a cute news story about it! It's fate! It's destiny! It's-" "Making the entire hallway look at us weirdly." I commented, and it was true. We got a lot of weird looks. "You guys are ignoring the real, important question here." Jenna said, seriously. She motioned for us to come in closer, which really wasn't all that hard to do, and she looked between me and Christine. 

"WHY AM I NOT THE MAID OF HONOR?!" 

If there wasn't weird looks before, we definitely got the 'are-you-off-your-meds' looks now. Christine gasped. "We can _both_ be the maid of honor, Jenna! The role isn't exclusive!" I rolled my eyes. They hashed it out for a minute, and then I decided to get involved. They are my friends. "Christine can be maid of honor, and Jenna can be best man. I'll force my future wife to choose you to be best man-woman?- so you both get an honorary role." They both seemed to agree with that. 

And then Rich interrupted. Holding Jake's hand. "Can I be a flower boy?" He asked, with big puppy eyes. Michael came over too, and that was surprising considering he hated talking to most people. But he was holding Jeremy's hand, and we _all_ knew that wherever Jeremy went, Michael came too. (It's kind of how they got into the facility in the first place. A Bonnie and Clyde story, without the romance, until later on.) "I want to be a flower boy!" Michael said. Jake looked absolutely offended at this. "I can't be a flower boy with my boyfriend?" And Jeremy came in too. "Yeah, Michael! Maybe we wanted to be flower boys!" 

Christine grabbed Jake's arm. "No, Jake! You gotta be ring bearer!" She said, and everyone nodded in agreement. Jake stood tall. "I'll be the best ring bearer ever, then." Rich patted his boyfriend's arm, since he was noticeably shorter. "I know you will, baby." Jenna rolled her eyes. "Does everyone have a wedding role, then?" She asked, and most everyone nodded to show that they had a role in the wedding. "Wait!" Jeremy said, and everyone turned to him. "I uh, I don't have a wedding role yet." He looked embarrassed as soon as the words came out, like he didn't even want a role but just wanted to say something. Christine gasped, something she did a lot. "How could we forget Jeremy? What role do you want?" She asked, as if we were _actually_ planning out the wedding. Jeremy looked more uncomfortable than my trial day. "I uh..don't know? I think all the roles are filled out alrea-" "YOU CAN BE A PAGE!" Christine yelled, and everyone jumped back. She rolled on her heels. "Oh, sorry everyone. But Jeremy can be a page!" She said, and her eyes were so starry that nobody had the heart to tell her none of us knew what that was. I didn't, at least. "What..what is a page?" I asked, and she looked like I had trashed Heathers: The Musical. (Which I had totally done.)

"Oh, I know." Michael said. We all then turned to him. I swear, it was like watching a tennis game. "A page is someone who holds the bridal train, which is like that fabric that drags behind the bride. Or brides, I guess, in this case." We all nodded. "I-I guess I'll be a page, then." Jeremy agreed. They all murmured around, discussing things like what flowers Rich and Michael will toss (Roses.) and where the wedding will take place. (Paris, obviously.) Jake raised his hand, and being tall, everyone quieted. He _did_ also try to kill someone, so that added to his ability of authority. "Who's wedding is it, again?" He asked, and everyone then turned to me. 

My face lit up like a Christmas tree. 

"I-uh, well, er, you see, it was something Christine, well, actually, Jenna really started it-Wedding talk is over!" I said, and everyone disbanded, except for Jenna and Christine. 

"It's almost time for Anger Therapy! You'll meet your future wife-to-be!" Christine cheered, and I was still blushing. Suddenly, a guard came in. "Anger Therapy, Class B, Tuesday!" She yelled, and everyone filed to leave. Class B was all of us. (They thought placing you with your hallway mates, instead of other hallways, would help you improve since you're sharing your life stories with people you technically have to live with, instead of strangers.) 

And then, Chloe. 

She came out of her room and walked without saying a word to anyone. We walked down two hallways, and turned into the Anger Therapy room, which was a pastel-blue painted and chairs-in-a-circle kind of place. We all sat down. 

I kept my eyes on Chloe Valentine.


	4. after anger therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deep stuff, man. deep stuff.  
> also: don't read if you have triggers, or are sensitive to stories of murder and other things. and don't do anything these kids did

Anger Therapy _sucks._ Seriously. 

You sit in a stupid room with stupid people getting all _touchy-feely_ and sharing you life stories and shit. But I sat down anyways. To my left, a male no taller than my five year old cousin sat down, and to my right, Headphones Kid took a seat. One woman was in a swivel chair in the middle. She smiled at me, and if I wasn't trying to achieve power, I would have strangled her. "Hello everybody! As you know, I am one of the therapists, Cathy Carol." What kind of name is Cathy Carol? It sounds like a fucking made up name. "Today we have Ms. Chloe Valentine with us. Chloe, how about we run through everyone else before we get to you, huh? That way you feel safe knowing that all of us here will not judge you and you can share information with those who have shared with you. Christine, how about you start?" 

Christine turned out to be a short girl with kind eyes, an Asian complexion, and black hair. I saw her in the hallway. She looked like the kind of girl who went to Starbucks and listened to pop Christian music. She smiled and sat up straighter. "Hi Chloe! My name is Christine Canigula," Oh, right. Bomb girl. I remembered her from my gossip talk with Officer Carlos. "I'm fifteen years old. I was convicted two years ago. My charges were of three counts of murder, and trespassing." She nodded to herself, as if to say 'yeah, I covered everything' and looked satisfied with that introduction. "Christine, will you tell us the story of how you did it?" Cathy asked, pushing up the glasses on her nose. Christine nodded again. "We were performing the same show, _A Midsummer Nights Dream,_ as the other local high school near the end of the school year. The other school kept telling us their production was better, over and over, and vandalizing our props and sabotaging our production. Ms. Pink, our teacher, went to the authorities, but we didn't have evidence, so they couldn't really _do_ anything. This really nice girl, who was the lead, had to step out before opening because of a really bad cold she seemed to get overnight. Then the understudy came down, and suddenly everyone was sick and we had to call off the show. I was the only one who wasn't sick. I was really mad, because it's one of my favorite shows and I was really looking forward to play as Helena. She's this really cool character and has some really nice line sin the play, and I spent a super long amount of time rehearsing for the perfect delivery..wait, where was I again?" Christine asked, and one of the other girls-I saw her in the hallway too-patted her shoulder. "You were really mad." She reminded Christine. 

"Oh! Right! So I was really mad about not doing it. And my dad's a construction worker, who happens to work with bombs all the time. One of Big Bud Dean's workers. So I asked to come with him to work the next day, which coincidentally was the opening night for the rival high school. I slipped a bomb and made my way to the school. I planted it to detonate backstage in a half hour, before the show. It wasn't to hurt anyone, but to just scare them. To get back, y'know? I left the school before anyone could notice me. It wasn't until the next day I learned that I underestimated the blast, and who would be backstage at the time. Three stagehands were back there. They all died. I didn't mean to.." She trailed off, and stared ahead as if she could see something none of us could. I almost felt bad for her, but then I regained composure. I can't feel bad for future subjects. Christine made a sudden movement, as if jolting back to reality. Cathy nodded. "And how do you feel about that?" She asked, and Christine looked like she was holding back tears. She probably was. "I feel like I've taken something, and I can't give it back, no matter how much I want to." Christine said, and everyone waited. It's like they've heard it all before. "..They were all seniors, you know that? The three people I _killed_ were going onto the rest of their lives. Veronica Sawyer. Martha Dunstock. Heather McNamara. I have to remember them, because I took it all away from them. They were going to colleges in the fall. I found out Veronica Sawyer was going to Brown.. her mom came in and told me. But not anymore. She's _dead._ Because of me. And I'll never forget that. I'll never forget how I felt when her mom came in. When I was at their funerals. Have you ever been to a funeral of someone you killed? It's something I'll never wish on anyone, because I felt just..everything. And nothing. Sorry, I'm rambling." She was crying. The girl who had reminded her of where she was earlier was rubbing her back, and another was putting fingers through the girls hair. 

"That's great, Christine. Thank you for sharing." Cathy said, and turned over. "Michael Mell! How about you?" She asked, I turned to the guy to my right. He was holding hands with another guy. Tan complexion and hair, glasses, and headphones around his neck. If Christine looked like a Starbucks girl, he was definitely a Hipster guy. "Well, I'm uh..I'm Michael Mell. I'm sixteen. I was charged, along with my buddy Jeremy, of assault with intent to rob nine times, and five counts of mayhem. That was about a year ago." Michael looked uncomfortable, to say the least. But Jeremy did too. "Can you two tell us the story?" Cathy asked, and Michael and Jeremy shared looks. Michael looked over at me, and so did his friend. "Don't laugh." He said, and I remembered what that lady in the hallway said-they robbed a Spencer's Gifts and a 7/11. But I haven't heard of the mayhem. "Let me guess. You two robbed a 7/11 and a Spencer's Gifts, right?" I told them, and everyone looked at me. "How did you know?" Jeremy asked, his voice cracky and nerdy, but suspicious. I considered my options: tell them the truth, or tell him I saw it on the news or some shit. Third option was to tell them I was psychic, but I discarded the thought. I needed to gain their trust anyways, of I'll never climb the social fucking ladder here. I went with the truth. "Officer Carlos told me as I was escorted." I said as I laid back in my chair to look cool. "Oh, well..yeah. We did do that. We did it to four different stores at different malls in New Jersey, and five different 7/11's." Jeremy said, a little bit embarrassed. But I was impressed; they got away with the crimes a impressive amount of times. Jeremy kept his eyes on me. "We held the people at gunpoint, and just took whatever we could in backpacks, Sometimes, for fun, we..well, we uh-" "We _maimed_ them in the back of the 7/11's. Like, tortured them. It's like this Discovery Channel documentary in the Game Room I saw, where some animals torture their prey before eating them. But we're uh, not cannibals." Michael finished, making a point not to look at anyone. Cathy nodded. "And how did that make you feel?" 

Michael looked at Jeremy, and it was the gayest thing I've ever seen. Heart eyes to the extreme. I would have thrown up if they went on, just staring at each other and not saying anything. But I was saved. "To be honest? It felt good. Like..a rush." Michael admitted. "Or a thrill." Jeremy added. "Yeah, it just felt..really good. Doing those things. With Jeremy." Michael said, and Jeremy looked like he was doing to spontaneously combust right then and there. His face was red, and I could practically picture it-handsy and feely in the back of a 7/11, probably after killing someone. Cathy wrote something down on a notepad I just noticed she had. 

"Okay, okay. Good. Thank you for sharing. Rich, you're up next." Rich was the small guy to my left. He had a red streak in his hair, a gap between his front teeth, and freckles on his bare arms. "I'm Rich Goranski. I'm sixteen." Rich had a lisp. I can use that. "I was charged six months ago for arson and possession of drugs and underage drinking. I um, burned down my buddy Jake Dillinger here-" He gestured to the taller boy beside him, who looked like someone I'd definitely make out with behind a 7/11 and then dump-"I burned down Jake's house." Jake nodded as if to confirm. "I attempted to murder Rich for burning down my house." Jake said. That cleared things up. I was wondering if the rimes were connected when Officer Carlos told me about them. "Mhm. And can you tell us the story behind that?" Cathy asked. "Oh yeah, sure." Rich responded, and leaned forward a little. It only made him look smaller, like a two-year old. He certainly had the looks. "Jake shows a party every year for Halloween. And every year, he invites me and I go. But for the past..I think, since freshman? I've been dealing drugs and taking them. So I was invited for three reasons. One, I'm just that cool. Two, I'm Jake's best friend, and three-" "To supply the drugs." Everyone else but Cathy and me filled in, as if the story was told a million times before. 

Rich jumped, almost excited that people remembered. "Yeah! So I go, and I'm at the party having a blast! Best night ever. Many memories, great time. After, the next day, it's school and I go. I'm used to being popular, one of those kids who everyone knows, right? But no one remembers that I was there. And I was like, 'fuck yeah, dude, I was there.' But no one remembered that. It was like freshman year-I was ignored and no one noticed my existence. And I hated freshman year. That's why I started selling drugs, to like, get people to notice me. Anyways, I'm all pissed. I talk to Jake-" "And I told him I definitely remember him there." Jake supplied. "Yeah, and I'm like, 'dude, if you remember, why doesn't everyone else?' and we started fighting about it. So I blast it. Every drug I have. If no one is going to care, I might as well overdose and die. But in my second drug, I get the idea that to solve my problem, I have to get rid of Jake's house. So no more parties, right?" Rich used his hands to talk-reminded me of Christine, because she was like that too. "I don't remember how I got there without dying, but I took the extra gasoline I keep in my car trunk and doused the front porch, which is like, all wood. And I set it all up, right? Jake runs out in his tighty whiteies-" "Lies. I was _fully_ dressed." Jake glared, and Rich smiled back in a challenge. "And he's holding a knife. I run, but I'm drunk and high and blazed, and Jake catches up with me." Rich looks over at Jake, expecting him to finish the story. "So I try to kill him. It's like, the only thing I had left of my parents before they laundered money and left me, so I was protective of the house. And he burned it down. So I was more than angry. Anyways, this neighbor comes out to see if I'm okay, nice old lady, and sees me try to kill Rich while my house is on fire. She calls the police. I'm charged with attempted murder and assault." Rich beams. "I was in a fully-body cast after being thrown in the fire, so I wasn't convicted until a week later when I was released!" 

"And how did it feel?" Cathy asked, probably to both of them. "The burn marks? Hurt like a mother fucker!" Rich said. "No, Rich. She means the crime." Jake explained, and Rich said something to himself before looking back at Cathy. "I dunno. Felt sorta like a dream, right? But I know it happened." Cathy nodded. "And you, Jake?" She asked, and Jake looked sorta uncomfortable. "I felt bad. I almost killed my best friend. I would have, if I didn't hear those police sirens, and..well, yeah." Cathy nodded and smiled. "Right, right. Thank you for sharing." She swirled around to the girl patting Christine's back.

"Jenna Rolan, care to share?" Cathy asked, and Jenna glared at her. "I can't. I'm under Supreme Court orders to not share any detail of what the hell I did. Unless you fucking forgot?" Jenna said, and Cathy looked a little mad, but went back to smiling.

"No, no. Of course not. How about..Brooke! How about you?" Brooke looked up. She was still comforting Christine Canigula. "Oh! Well, I'm Brooke Lohst. I'm fifteen. I was convicted of one count of manslaughter and attempt of suicide." She patted Christine's head and faced the therapist. "Brooke, can you tell us what happened?" Cathy asked, and Brooke looked around at everyone. "Well, I was at work. I was already pretty suicidal, but that day I was feeling a lot..I don't know, lower. Like no self esteem at all. My boss at Pinkberry started yelling at me, telling me I wasn't doing my job right, I was a screwup, a lot of mean stuff. So, in my head, I decided that the next day I would do it. I'd kill my boss to get attention, and then kill myself. I guess it was like..a grand exit, or something. So I came to work with a loaded gun and pointed it at my boss. I promised I wouldn't hurt the other employees, but no one believed me. They called the police. I tried telling them, but then my finger slipped and I shot my boss and he was dead. It didn't sink in. What I was doing, I mean. Not until he died. I just sorta..let my feelings take over and didn't think. But then I turned the gun on me, and I was going to do it, but one of my coworkers fought the gun out of my hands and I was taken away. They told me I was unstable, and a lot of other medical stuff..and that I'd have to spent five years here to make up for what I did. That was two years ago." Cathy nodded. 'And how did the crime make you feel?" Cathy asked. Brooke looked down. "It made me feel sad. I had a good family, and other things, I just..depression doesn't care who you are. It just..takes you. I anted to end it, and after a boyfriend broke up with me, and I realized i was pansexual in a really strict place, I wanted to disappear. I felt sad and lonely and like no one wanted me around because of the freakouts." Cathy nodded. 

"Thank you so much for sharing, Brooke. So how about you, Chloe? Are you ready to share?" 

I mulled that over. Am I ready? I haven't talked about it, I'm not really a feely person, I really didn't know. But fuck it, I'll do it anyways. "I'm Chloe Valentine. I'm sixteen years old. I was charged with arson, hit and run, and two counts of vehicular homicide." I stated, and Cathy nodded and everyone listened like I was a celebrity in tabloids: 'YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT MADE CHLOE VALENTINE KILL HER PARENTS IN DENNYS! TURN TO PAGE 60 TO FIND THE FULL STORY!' "Anything else you'd like to share?" Well, no stopping now, I guess. "My parents hated me. Wealthy and never around, like, ever. They never cared about me at all, and only had me for the press that comes with having a kid. We were going out, I guess they wanted to bond with me for my sixteenth, after leaving me alone for an entire week. So I told them I wanted to go to Dennys. We got a booth seat, and they started to trash on me. Saying shit. So I told them I left my purse in the car, and I had to get it, and they gave me the keys and I crashed it in the Denny's window booth and I killed them."

They were all silent. I might be cold, and unfeeling, and don't really care about people. And some have called me a bitch. But right now, I find myself awkward in the silence. "Well, uh..what are you all thinking about?" I ask, slowly, and Rich has wide eyes. "Your parents? Girl, what the-" "Rich." Jake said, trying to get him to stop by shaking his arm. "I'm just saying, that's like-" "Rich, stop." "Jake! Go!" Rich said, and it looked like they were about to fight again, but Cathy rolled in her chair and attempted to separate them. Michael looked at me. "You serious?" he asked, and I nodded. "Wow. I..um, serious shit there. Nothing against you, but..serious." Michael said, and Jeremy nodded like he didn't know what to say. No one probably did. I just told people I had met today I killed my parents. Cathy returned to the center of the circle. "All right! That's enough for today. Net week, we'll be talking about dealing with what you've done. You may go back to your rooms until lunch." Cathy said, and everyone started to leave the room. 

But something caught my eyes as I filed out-the way Brooke Lohst stared at me as we walked down the hallway. It made me feel butterflies, and I..I spent the rest of time until lunch sitting in the Hallway S girls' bathroom stall, wondering what the heck I did to get that look from her.


	5. made all my defenses fall

Anger Therapy usually opens people up to a better week. It used to be the first Monday of every month, but then the wardens realized we're more messed up than they realized, so it turned into just every Monday. And after the therapy, it's lunch. Which is, by the way, a hellhole. All because of Madeline Savage. Not to be mean or make fun of multiple personality disorder diagnosis people, but hearing her ask if they serve baguettes every single day makes me want to relapse-and also the fact that she goes out of her way to make everyone miserable. And since it's Chloe Valentine's first day here, everyone is on edge seeing if she does something, anything, about Madeline, who we all collectively and passionately hate. 

"So, what's on the menu today?" Rich asks as we walk in. Jake and Christine have a sort of joint-act, where since they can see the board better than any of us, they use a 'announcer' voice, acting like they're narrating the Olympics or something. The two of them make way to the 'front' of the group, and turn to look at all of us. They pretend to hold microphones. "Beautiful co-anchor Christine Canigula and me, Jake Dillinger, back again today with the menu. Christine, would you like to read us our entrees?" Jake questions, and Christine smiles widely. "Of course, Jake! Today we have the ever excellent mashed potatoes and gravy, or the perfectly prepared slice of cheese or pepperoni pizza. Along with the side dish of either frozen peas or carrots, this is making for quite the fine meal! Jake, would you like to tell us about the dessert selection this afternoon?" Christine asks, and Jake waves his hand like he's actually on TV. "Brownies with rainbow sprinkles, a wonderful selection of ice cream desserts, and of course, the ever amazing, say it with me viewers at home-" "Cookies!" We all chorus, except for Chloe. The cookies here are epic, warm and gooey, and everyone at the table would honestly not hesitate to kill someone over these cookies. (I know I would.) The chocolate chip is me and Christine's favorite, but everyone has their own favorite kind. Jake is the regular vanilla, Michael and Jeremy share one giant red and blue Kool-Aid cookie, Jenna always gets the oatmeal raisin, and Rich always gets the weird green tea flavored one. (He says it's because it's from Japan, it's instantly better. No one agrees.) 

"That's absolutely right! Cookies!" Christine says brightly, and Jake laughs. "All right everybody, it's time for us to go. But we'll see you at dinner and tomorrow morning's breakfast. Christine, start the sign off!" Jake motions to his 'co-anchor' who puts a hand on her hip and proudly says, "This is Channel S News-" "Have a awesome day!" They both say at the same time. Before Jake came, she used to say 'Wonderful' but after he came, they started saying 'awesome'. We all clap and get in line. Chloe taps me on the shoulder. "They do that every day?" She asks, with a hint of confusion and annoyed-ness in her voice. "Yeah. The wardens say routine helps us, so we created little things to do, like..routines. It actually does help. Plus, Christine and Jake are the theatre royalty." I explain, and she scoffs in some sort of emotions I can't describe. "What does everyone else do?" I grab some mashed potatoes. "For me, I make everyone frozen yogurt on Sunday. Jenna uses her phone to tell us the weather outside everyday. Michael and Jeremy set up this gaming thing-every Saturday we all play video games together." I put some peas on the tray and wink at Chloe. "I'm pretty good at Mario Kart, if I do say so myself!" Chloe smiles back. "Prepare for me to destroy you at Mario Kart, then." We both share quiet laughs and I grab my chocolate chip cookie. I notice Chloe evaluating the selection, and she grabs a red velvet. We exit and head to Hallway S's table, second to last on the left. All the tables are those long ones with the benches-even though most hallways can't fill them. Michael and Jeremy sit on the first right side, and across form them are Rich and Jake. It's usually Jenna and Christine next to Jake, and then me beside Jeremy. It's a system. 

"Chloe!" Rich yells in enthusiasm. "We're over here!" And he waves, too, for emphasis. Chloe rolls her eyes and bumps me like _really?_ and pretends not to notice. She strides over to the table like a catwalk. 

God, I'm in love. 

Rich bumps Jake on the shoulder as we sit down-my heart racing as she sits beside me. "Told you, we should have yelled together! Chloe didn't hear us. Brooke had to show her to the table!" Rich says seriously. Chloe uses her master silent sarcasm and I begin the meal. Christine starts the conversation. "I'm so excited for our next activity. I'm getting super good at knitting! And Rich, I want to see how your friendship bracelets turn out!" Rich beams at her. "Thanks, Christine. That rainbow basket is going to be so cool!" Rich compliments. Jeremy turns to Michal. "That blue knitting wool is pretty awesome." Michael turns to Jeremy and they hold hands. "Yeah, I like the red alpaca wool." Jenna checked the weather on her phone-one of the few things she can do on it, so she doe sit a lot. "Yeah, I'm making a pink wool phone case." Jenna says, because all of her crafts are usually for the phone. I ate some of the peas. "Yeah, I'm making this really comfy yellow cardigan!" It was true. Alpaca wool is comfy and cardigans are my favorite thing ever. Especially the long ones that are really in fashion now-I used to wear them all the time. Making them so I can wear it and everyone is 100% I'm not hiding any knives it one of the best thing of the year. Everyone chattered after that-o real big conversation, just random stuff. Chloe turned to me. "You seem the most sane here." She states, and I smile softly. "Um, thanks?" Chloe smiles proudly. "Your welcome." She pushes her tray aside. "So, besides the whole..uh, backstory, what else should i know about this hellhole?" She asks, and I smile at her excitedly, ready to give out information. "Well-" a hand slams down between us, stopping me."You took the last fucking red velvet." 

Madeline Savage. 

"I did? Oh, sorry. I heard there selling more at the _I-Don't-Care-Market_ and at _Fuck-Off-Central."_ Chloe replies without a beat. Madeline snatches the cookie off of her tray, and all conversations halt. "Oh, good comeback. You dish that out of the garbage? Oh, wait, I shouldn't trash your parents. Tell them my respects, six feet under." Madeline says and opens up the plastic encasing the treat. Chloe swings herself around the bench and stands up. "Give me the damn cookie, bitch." Chloe says, and Madeline leans forward, stares, and bites right into it. Chloe stood back. "You wanna fuck with me? Is that it? You wanna start something?" Chloe asks, anger dripping in the voice. Madeline took another bite of the cookie casually. "I don't fight children." She responds, and continued with the cookie. Chloe stood to make herself taller, more intimidating. "Oh, sure. You might not fight them, but you might _fuck them._ Bet that's how you got in here, huh?" Chloe says, her voice petty and high, unlike how she's presenting herself. Jake stands up from the table. "Chloe, that's enough. If you two fight, then you have to spend a day in solitary-" "Shut it, Dillinger!" Madeline screams, and then turns back to Chloe. "She wants to fight? Fine. We'll fight." 

That's when all hell broke loose. 

There's about a five foot length between our table and Madeline's, so they brawl it out in the space between, kicking and pulling and screaming insults at each other. I hear some sound other than the fight, and wanting to pull myself away from it, I look over to find Rich sipping water. He pulled the cup away from him and said "Pull out the frenchie's hair, Chloe!' and Jake punches him before getting up. "All right, all right." He walks over to where they are, and leans down to try to separate them, but to no avail. Somehow one of them got a fork and stabbed Jake's hand, which went clean through and he screamed in harmony with Chloe and Madeline. Rich got up and took Jake's other hand and led him out of the cafeteria, probably to the nurse's office. Christine still hasn't learned that no one hardly gives a fuck, so she stands up and starts yelling for someone to separate them, but no one does. I sit there stunned. Jeremy and Michael talk about how they would have already killed Madeline at this point. Finally, Chloe shoves Madeline off of her, gets up, and holds up a portion of the red velvet cookie. She then kicks Madeline in the stomach, and triumphantly eats it. She then turns to me, and smiles. 

"What were you saying?"


	6. we're so subliminal, it's almost criminal pt. 1

Solitary confinement sucks. 

Turns out the punishment for serving Madeline Savage what she deserves is solitary confinement, and it sucks. There's concrete walls and a gate-like door with a guard outside. I tried talking to the guard, but it's like taking to those Queen's Army guys: impossible. He was stone cold and not interested at all in my endeavors for conversation. But the guard went to sleep around 7:00 (Weakling.) and I had to spend my time until I fell asleep walking back and forth in the cell. But then a voice from somewhere said "Chloe?" And I recognized it as Brooke Lohst. After about two hours of pouring out my feelings to a stoic figure, I had realized I had punched the shit out of Madeline to impress Brooke, and after that I went on and on about her yellow cardigan that matches her sun-like hair, and that voice, and those blue eyes, and I just really liked how she got quiet sometimes when deep in thought, like the world doesn't matter anymore, because she's thinking. "Chloe, are you in here? We need to get in a cell before they-" "Shit. Shit. Just go in, just go in!" I heard Jeremy interrupt Brooke's beautiful fucking voice. I wanted to punch him. "I'm in here, asses." I responded, and suddenly Rich was holding a lighter and opening my cell door like he's done it all before. I walked out and turned to the group, who was holding one tray of dinner food and smiles, like they do this all the time. That seems to be a common theme: breaking the rules comes as easy as breathing to these kids. 

"Chloe, we brought you some dinner." Brooke says, and Christine excitedly jumps. "And I brought you an extra cookie and milk! I love cookies and milk! And it's your favorite, red velvet! Well, I assume it's your favorite. It's why your here!" Christine says, and I have to smile. I learned in the five minutes after having my run-in with Madeline that Christine has ADD. It was drilled into my head it's ADD, not ADHD, and to beat the shit out of anyone who says it is. Apparently it's a common joke. Anyways, she gives me a warm velvet cookie and a carton of unspoiled milk, which wasn't present at lunch. "And I brought you lunch." Brooke says, and it's sweet. She hands me the tray and we all sit on the floor. 

"Now, here's the hard part. We need to get you out of here. Not like, out of the facility, even through we've been planning on doing that forever, but out of solitary confinement. Getting in is easy-and smuggling stuff in is easier. But getting out is the hard part." Jake says, and nods to Michael. "Guards go missing all the time." Michael says darkly, and brings out a knife from his pocket. Suddenly, Jeremy slams Michael's knife into his pants pocket. "No! That's Plan B!" Jeremy says, his voice cracking. I must have looked both confused and a little excited, and honestly everyone except Christine, Brooke and Jeremy looked like they wanted to do Plan B. "Plan A is to just knock them out. Christ, Michael. We're here to get better!" Jeremy scolds, and I can visibly see Rich's hair poof deflate. Jake lowered his knife as well, in disappointment.

Christine put a plan out, a sketched out map of the entire facility. "Here we are," Christine says, pointing to an blue area labeled in the key as 'SOLITARY CONFINEMENT'. She pointed to the hallway in front of it that I remember passing. "Seven guards are stationed here," She pointed outside of the hallway, " and seven here," and she pointed inside the place we were in. "And guards in here. Outside of every filled cell is one guard. Currently, counting this cell, there are twelve guards. They're doing the night change now. That means we have-" "Ten minutes." Everyone said, except me. Christine beamed. "Yes! Ten minutes! Plan is to escape to the hallway, and use the strength of the team, which is Michael, Rich and Jake to take out all the guards in the hallway, and me, Brooke and Jeremy will use the air ducks for Operation Perfume." And then Jeremy took out a alpaca wool container of perfume. "Made it myself in Chemistry." He said proudly. "Fills up a room and knocks you out for an hour. It's like chloroform, but it smells like gingerbread." Jeremy explained, and suddenly Operation Perfume was a lot more fun than it sounded. I looked at Christine. "And what do I do?" I asked. Christine looked down. "Oh, well, before you came, this is always how we did it..so...maybe you can be on-" "Brawlers." I announced, finishing my dinner. Everyone looked at me. "Oh, please. Three people and seven armed guards takes about five minutes. It takes two of fill up a room. With one more person, it cuts the time to fight in almost half-three minutes tops. We can waltz out of her sin less time than before, and with one more person fighting, we can get past the guards on the other station as well. We have two minutes to get out of here anyways, and to get across that air duct takes time. So, let's go." I explained, and mostly I was just bullshitting everything I said. I just wanted to punch somebody. I got up. "Come on, let's go!" I said, and Michael, Jake and Rich got up. I opened my broken-in cell door and we all sprinted to do out jobs. The acrobat Brook climbed into the air duct after unscrewing it with Jake's knife, and Jake kicked open the door at the end of the hallway.

We walked in, and every guard turned to us. "Hallway S." One sneered, and Michael took out his knife excitedly. "Let's get it on!" He yelled, but we all heard a loud "PUT IT DOWN, MICHAEL' from Jeremy form the air ducks. michael threw the knife angrily in the wall. "You're lucky my boyfriend doesn't want me to fuck you up!" Michael yells, and we all charge in. I take a female guard, who smiles like she knows she'll win. I go to punch her, but she holds my wrist. I do it with my other hand, which she catches, but I also swing my foot under her, tripping us both. I use her grip of my hands to pull me closer so I can rip the helmet off her head.We thrash around, and I finally get the helmet off and punch her in the face. "Chloe, catch!" I hear Rich yell, and I twist me and the guard around with our momentum and another guard slams into us. The woman lets go of me, and I get up. Michael body slams someone, and Jake angrily yells something about Rich, to where Rich kicks the everliving shit out of this short guard who can't even look Rich in the eye. Once they're all down, we hear a "C-C-COME ON!" From Jeremy, who sounds both nervous and excited. Michael pulls the knife out of the wall and shoves it in his pocket. We run out of the room to find Christine, Jeremy, and Brooke by the door, and Brooke is using a hairpin to unlock the door. We unlock it and find ourselves in another empty hallway. "Where the fuck is Jenna?" Rich yells with his lisp, and we turn down another hallway. "Taking down the electric wall and gate servers! We're meeting her in the control room!"

"What? No! Last time she was in the control room, Jenna fucked us all over!" Jake yelled back, and we run through the media center as alarms start to blaze. A red light enraptures us all. "Last time? How many times have you guys tried to break out?" I yell over the sirens, and Brooke sprints to catch up. "Ten times this year! We almost had it, but Jenna got caught after she texted about her breakout to a friend in the facility, and they traced us at the nearby town. By the way, Rich, did you get that SUV from Officer Santiago?" Brooke said, and Rich yelled back "OF COURSE!" Way too loudly. We turned down another hallway, which let to stairs. We bursted up about ten flights of stairs, powering through the pain, and ended up on the top floor of the facility after kicking down a 'DO NOT ENTER' door. At the end of the hallway, I could see a octagon-like room with Jenna at the computer, and ten guards trying to get in. She used her computer skills to seal the door shut, they couldn't get in the bulletproof windows or doors if they tried with nuclear weapons. Rich jumps up excitedly, and takes out a knife. The rest of the team follow suit, except me and Christine, who opens up the air duct and gestures for me to follow. As he roll through, I hear various fights. 

"Where are we going?" I ask, trying to go faster. Tight spaces are not my favorite spaces. "To the mechanical wing, which is ten floors down. But that's okay, because this air duct leads directly to the trash bin. We take this way down, and we're a parking lot away from the mechanical wing. Rich was a SUV waiting for us, which we're going to use to get out of here." Christine says. She turns down another air duct. "Okay. But I thought you guys wanted to be here, to get better? Jeremy said so not two hours ago." I said, and Christine turns down another duct. "Well, we want to get better for each other. This place doesn't help. Michael and Jeremy, Rich and Jake..they're so in love with each other. Jake and Jeremy push their partners to be better. To get better. They're still murderers, they're still arsonists. But the only reason they want to get better is because Jake and Jeremy want to get better. And Jeremy and Jake just want to get rid of this life they've been leading. Y'know, a reputation tied with Michael and Rich..not what's going to get them into college. And I'm almost out of here anyways, so they all tell me it's okay. Brooke says she doesn't like how everyone except us treats her, and she doesn't want to go back home. Jenna convinced us a few years ago when she came. She's here by Supreme Court Law, but she really wants to escape to one of those inhabitable islands and not have the law 'weighing her down'." 

Christine comes to something, and winces. "This is the hard part. We're gonna fall down ten stories, into another air duct. Do you have any experience in gymnastics?" She asked, and I had flashbacks to dance school. "Miss Meringue's Dance School for the Elite." I said. "Great. We're gonna stop right before we land and crawl out head first. Push me forward and I'll pull you out of the duct into the trash bin. Start falling when I say so." She said. Christine moves forward, and in another instant we're falling ten stories. "Okay! Come on!" Christine yells, and as I push myself I ask, "So, what did Jenna do?"

Christine yells for a moment before stopping. "Jenna accessed information or something? Not allowed to talk about it. Here we come!" Christine yells, and suddenly her hands slam against the air duct, and I do the same. She then crawls to the bottom, and I allow myself to fall and stop, before crawling into another air duct. I moved to Christine, who pushes open the air duct cover with force I didn't know she had. I pushed he rout, and when she falls into the trash bin, she takes my extended arms and pulls me out. "Oh, right." I said. I was still curious and left with no answers. We left the trash bin and sprinted across the parking lot, right into the mechanical wing, which had cars upon cars in a giant garage. A brand new Toyota Sequia was in there, a sore thumb from the beat up, rusty cars surrounding it. Christine took out keys form her jean jacket pocket, and unlocked it. We climbed in, Christine driving, and backed out of the facility. We parked in the big parking lot, just us, and Christine turned to me. "So, what do you think the rest of the group is doing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the beginning of a three part ending!  
> i loved writing this, but i'm running out of ideas ahaha  
> sorry if it's fast-paced. i've been busy and i wanted to give this story a ending that works for this crew  
> my tumblr is @brookeinthebathroom so follow me there  
> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated guys! i love comments to pieces and kudos are amazing  
> c-c-c-come on, let's go!


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